# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
