The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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