My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
