i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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