No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
