becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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