If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
