woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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