evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
