My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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