And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
