I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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