I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
