My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
