Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
