And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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