Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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