I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
