Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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