I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
