I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
