we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This is my gift to your gina
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
