Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
