So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
