How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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