your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize