dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
PANTIES FOUND
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