Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
