I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize