oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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