I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
