I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
