were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
