Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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