...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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