So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
