She said her name was "party"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
