Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
