I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
