I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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