And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
