Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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(309): View more from Illinois

I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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(727): View more from Florida

She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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(419): View more from Ohio

apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome

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(614): View more from Ohio

Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.

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(905): View more from Ontario

You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

(1-905): View more from Ontario

He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"

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(727): View more from Florida

I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.

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