As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
