I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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