I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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