went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
