I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
