u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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