Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
