I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
