Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
