Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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