He disabled his match.com account in front of me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
