She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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