I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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