I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
