Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So many bounce houses so little time
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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