Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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