You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
