Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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