Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Randomize
