Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sober January is a disaster.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
