Just mADE A PArabola og urine
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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