Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I looked at my own cervix.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
